My Self Analysis

My weakness : I don't know my strength

My strength : I know my weakness

P.S. I love paradoxes

Nervous Pants

The pretty salesgirl (who was in a hurry to make the sale), made me so nervous that I almost forgot to wear my trousers before coming out of the trial room.

Common Usage Utilities

Recently, IISc has launched a bicycle drive. In this drive, common utility bicycles are available for use at various locations inside the campus. These bicycles are always unlocked and can be used by any person inside IISc. There are certain requirements like, we are not allowed to take them outside the campus, we should park them at specified locations etc etc. I don't want to go into the details here. What I want to talk about is, my thoughts when I heard about this novel concept.


Since the beginning of the bicycle drive with the concept of common usage bicycles, the little piece of imagination within me has been toying with the idea of whether this common usage policy can be extended to objects other than just the humble two wheeled bicycle. The following are some of the ideas I could come up with. I don't claim that they are practical. Some people may even find them outrageous. But the intention was not to provide practical ideas, the idea was to make at attempt at amusing the reader.

1. Common Usage Cycle Rickshaw -> A friend of mine seemed none too eager on using the common bicycles. I learnt that my friend had difficulty in balancing on two wheels. So I wondered, why not have more than two wheels. In case tricycles are hard to procure, there are many unused cycle rickshaws around. It will not be difficult to balance it and it might also encourage people to do some social service and carry around a few hitchhikers.
   
   
2. Common Usage Boyfriends/Girlfriends -> Why stop at abandoned bicycles/cycle rickshaws? We can include single and eligible bachelors/bachelorettes into the common usage drive. The holiday season can be a lonely time on campus. There will be volunteers parked at strategic locations on campus. If you are not feeling like walking alone, feel free to pick up a suitable volunteer (depending on your orientation), take them for a ride around the campus and dump them at specified locations. Its like emotional Viagra for the flaccid at heart.
   
   
3. Common Usage Electric Stoves and Cutlery -> We have to admit, instant tea/coffee from the machine is not the same as man made tea/coffee. Presence of a stove and cutlery with a bit of raw material will enable students to enjoy the beverage of their choice even at the most unearthliest of hours. Those who are not sure of how to prepare tea/coffee need not fret. You can use the volunteers from the previous idea.

I better stop here, else the next thing I might be asking for would be beer dispensing machines all over campus.

Whose hair is it anyway?

Whenever I go for a haircut along with my dad, the barber asks my dad the specifications for my haircut. What is it about me that makes people think I am not capable of taking decisions regarding my own hair?

Stares of the Strange Kind

Sometimes when I am walking, people (even total strangers) tend to stare at me. This does not upset me one little bit. All I do is, look down and make sure that I did not forget to close my zip.

Where are my Cheerleaders?

I feel that objective examinations with multiple choices are like T20 matches. The luck factor is there, the high intensity and short duration is there, even the innovation is there. Only the cheerleaders are missing. I think we should have cheerleaders in the exam hall.

Language Issues

Today I met an auto driver who insisted on communicating with me in english. Initially I wondered why. Then I realised that his english is better than my kannada.

Queue of Thought

I hate people who cut in front of me in a queue. I have decided that the next man to cut in front of me would risk getting manhandled. My chivalry would prevent me from manhandling a woman. Hence the next woman to cut in front of me would be molested.

Body of Ice

Guys around me are building bodies like prime real estate. Suddenly I am beginning to feel like an igloo

From sucking at fluid dynamics to sucking at a straw (in one milkshake)

Today at breakfast, I realised that the amount of energy required to drink a constant volume of milk shake through a straw is directly proportional to the viscosity of the milk shake and inversely proportional to the fourth power (not square) of the radius of the straw. With this realisation, my fear that I will never be able to apply fluid dynamics to real world problems, has been laid to rest.

Sperms of Thought

Today I read in the newspaper that intelligent men produce better sperm. If I had a higher IQ, I would take the newspaper clipping and my IQ test results, go to the sperm bank and demand an exorbitant price.

My New Year's Resolution for 2010?

My new year's resolution is to be completely disorganized, whimsical and anti social. Judging by the way my past year's resolutions ended up, I expect that by february, I will be completely organized, focussed and have a very fulfilling social life