Sunday, February 22, 2015

Still thinking about Superman


Why isn't anyone able to recognise that Clark Kent is Superman?

If I were to remove my specs, wear underpants over my trousers and put on a red cape, will you be unable to recognise me?

Monday, January 26, 2015

The Depression of Superman

ProLogue

This piece was written during one of the sessions of Write Club. The visual writing prompt given during that session was:




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I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Wishing I did not have to get up and face what lay ahead. You normal human beings at least get to be at peace while staring at the ceiling. I on the other hand, was given the ability to look beyond it, past the seven floors above me, past the seven homes and all the people living above me and into the sky above. Thanks to X-ray vision and all. You guys don’t know how lucky you are to be able to close all the blinds and windows in your bedroom, lay like a log in bed all day and just stare at the ceiling wondering what time of the day it is. 

I saw past the layers of concrete and noticed that the sun had risen well past the horizon. I decided to make my next attempt at getting out of bed. I had to be gentle. I always have to take care not to wake up with a start.  You have no idea how hard it is to constrain myself every single moment of my life; irrespective of whether I am awake or asleep. The last time I snored, the entire neighbourhood thought it was a distant thunderstorm. The last time I sneezed, the roof collapsed upon me and brought down the bathtub along with the 80 year old spinster living upstairs. The police of course had to protect my secret identity and passed it off as a gas leak caused explosion. I hate to admit that many times their alibis were not far off the mark. Since that day, I take great care about what I eat.

My life is a living idiomatic example of Bull in a china shop. No, not just any bull; a bull with a conscience in a china shop. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. I decided to ignore it. Damn the new government for prescribing the minimum 10 hours per day 5 days a week work schedule for us superheroes. The normal people can just get out of bed, put on yesterday’s clothes and step out the door and get to work. I have to think about saving the world and worry about whether I have clean underwear for the next day. Damn the guy who designed my costume.

The phone rang again. Damn the phone too. I stretched my hand out of the blanket, picked the receiver off the side table and brought it to my ear. It was Batman. He is a man of few words. He just said ”42nd street, 10 minutes”.

It must be really urgent for him to have called twice. I put on my costume and reached the top of the tallest building on 42nd street. 

He was already waiting for me. He could hide the exhaustion in his voice and in the way he carried himself. But he could not hide his anatomy from me. The wear and tear his body had taken over the years was obvious. He hated this job as much as I did.

He held out his hand. It held a small make up kit. He always has a plan. But, like I said, he is a man of few words. He just said “Plan D”.  I nodded and took the make-up kit. I put on some eye-liner and the red coloured eye lenses. I wore a frown on my face and began pretending that some alien has taken control of my mind, flew off the rooftop and prepared to get tickled by batman. This should carry us through till Friday.
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EpiLogue

The final part of the writing exercise involved writing a piece to advertise what we had written earlier. This is what I managed to churn out:

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Unable to get rid of your happy pill highs? 
Read our stories and never feel the need to jump in joy again.

Do you feel like you have too much energy? Do you feel very enthusiastic and are unable to stay in bed after the sun rises? Read about the rustic depressions of the man of steel and get life time immunity to feelings like hope, happiness and positivity.

Issued in private interest by the Indian Psychiatric Association.

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Finally, to wrap up
Acknowledgement: All credit/blame goes to Nikita for introducing me to Write Club and for encouraging me to put up my writings from the sessions on my blog.

Friday, August 1, 2014

An Unexpected Anniversary


Today is the first anniversary of the day I started telling people that I am in my final year of PhD

Image Source: cargocollective

Monday, April 7, 2014

Election Wave

Mera paper ho raha hai reject baar baar,
Kehte hain sab, mera thesis bilkul bekar,
Ab ki baar Modi sarkar!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Poetic Interpretations






Lyricists write lyrics with aesthetic and sublime connotations. But listening to the same songs while driving on the pothole ridden roads of Bangalore have led to many alternative interpretations in my mind. An example follows:


Jannatein sajai maine tere liye,
Chod di khudai maine tere liye...

Saale khudai chod ke ladki ke peeche bhaag liye,
Road ke beech mein 3 foot ka gadda jo ban gaya hai woh tera baap bharega kya mere liye?

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Why I don't burst LOUD crackers


When I was a kid I was very innocent and I used to tell the truth. I told everybody that the reason I don't burst loud crackers is because I am afraid of them. Now I just tell everybody that I am an environmentalist

Cartoon Source: Vectorstock

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Time Management

Cartoon: Knowledge (large) by Paulus tagged lecture,knowledge,seminar

I had to give 3 seminars in one week. To manage things, I used almost the same set of slides for all of them. I even wore the same set of clothes to 2 of them

Cartoon source: toonpool