Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cartoons. Show all posts

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Noices News

Research student falls asleep during technical talk in JN Tata Auditorium. Spends entire night locked up in auditorium



A seemingly harmless technical talk at the JN Tata Auditorium in India's premier research institute, Indian Institute of Science (IISc), Bangalore, took a tragic turn as Khoom B Karan, a research scholar in ECE (Encephalitis Cures Engineering) department fell asleep during the talk and did not wake up even as the speakers, entire audience and the support staff of the JN Tata Auditorium left at the end of the talk and the slumbering research scholar was locked up in the auditorium for the entire night.

The trapped scholar was discovered in the morning when Kanta Bai the cleaner opened the auditorium, allegedly for cleaning purposes. Asked about her reaction on finding the trapped research scholar, she said “In my 25 years of service, I have seen people carelessly leave behind all kinds of junk in the auditorium. People leave behind cups, brochures, text books even research papers. But this is the first time I have seen someone leave behind an entire research scholar”

Bahadur, the caretaker of JN Tata Auditorium was the last person to leave the auditorium. When questioned on why he neither saw nor heard the snoring researcher, he said “What saahib. Why are you blaming me? This place is so big, how can I alone take care of everything? In fact, so many students fall asleep in here because of the AC, soft cushions and the drawling voice of some speakers. But this guy was the only one stupid enough not to wake up at the end of the talk. I don’t understand why they hold such boring talks in such a cozy environment.” He then looked at The Noices Team closely, and said “In fact I think I have even seen couple of you sleeping in here”. Noices wisely decided not to push the matter any further with Bahadur.

Khoom B Karan’s brother B B Shaan was understandably aggrieved. He said, “This is very dangerous. I demand that the administration take some immediate action to prevent such unfortunate incidents in the future. How could they be so careless and lock up the auditorium while a research scholar is blissfully asleep inside? Khoom bhaiyya woke up around half an hour after the sedative voice of the speaker stopped impinging on his ears. He could not even use the mobile to call for help since there is no network available within the auditorium. He tried to shout for help. He had to run half a kilometre from his seat up the stairs towards the exit to knock on the doors only to realise that the doors are padded. How is anyone supposed to attract attention for help?”

Khoom was equally agitated about the mishap. He said, “Do you have any idea of the mind numbing experiences I had to withstand in there? All the ghosts of past speakers haunted me and kept lecturing me throughout the night. I had no choice but to listen to the technical talks, conferences and seminars of the past. I was too frightened to even yawn in front of those ghosts of past speakers” and he showed how stiff his jaw had become from endless hours of controlling his yawn.

He is currently recuperating at the IISc Health Centre. His duty doctor Dr Quack said “EEG did not show much activity when he was brought here. His mind was quite blank. The pulse and brain activity was alarmingly low. This might be due to being trapped in that ghastly place for over 14 hours. 2 hours of a technical talk and over 12 hours of being trapped in there while the echoes of the past talks kept reverberating. There is a limit to what the human brain can endure”.

Asked about Khoom’s recovery progress, Dr Quack said, “We had to give regular doses of the recorded voice of his advisor reprimanding him in order to raise his brain activity to acceptable levels. Fortunately, we have lot of experience in treating such cases at IISc. As you can see, he has responded very well to treatment”.

Asked for his feelings on surviving this mishap, Khoom said, “After this near brain death experience, I have begun to appreciate life. I have decided to start exercising my brain regularly. We tend to take everything we have for granted. Using brain only just before deadlines and examinations and ignoring it altogether at other times. I have realised that it is wrong” and he nodded in self-acknowledgement.

The Noices Team was asked not to aggravate the patient too much and we were requested to wind up quickly since it was almost time for his next dose of medicine. When asked for his final comments, “You only get one brain. Use it well” was Khoom B Karan’s parting shot.

Sketch Credits: Jithin K S, ECE, IISc

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Degrees vs Cricket


Test Match

PhD

5 days or less

More or less 5 years

Toss

Advisor assigned

Fielding

Course work

Leather hunt (first 2 days)

Literature survey and search for thesis problem (first 2 years)

Opposition declares

Advisor takes pity and chooses thesis problem for you

Openers face shiny new ball and bouncers

Comprehensive exam

Wickets fall

Years go by

Nightwatchman

Hobby to prevent depression

Pitch crumbles

Equipment breaks down

Spinners spin a web

Googly from experimental results

Follow on

Night out

Unfair decision

Paper rejected

Last session. No. 11 batsman trying to save his stumps from reverse swinging yorker at 150kmph

Thesis Defence

T20

MBA

20 overs

2 years

Minimal need for technique

Minimal need for technical stuff

Pyrotechnics - Brute force, Big shots

Pyrotechnics - Marketing Ability

Cheerleaders

Gets a girl that looks like a cheerleader

IPL Auction

Placement Season


Sketch Credits: Jithin K S, ECE, IISc

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Everything's fair in Love and War and Peace


I have friends who read classics like War and Peace just so that they can tell people that they have read it. I don't like that attitude and I never do that. I just go through the synopsis and character sketches and tell people that I have read it

Sketch Credits: Bhavana Sekhar, ECE, IISc

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Power of Thought


I have heard of people who stare at objects in the hope that they can move the object with the power of their thought. Today I tried to make my lab experiment produce the desired result by sitting and staring at it.

Cartoon Credits: Mandar Dixit, MRDG, IISc